Off Track

Run! Run! Run! People around me shouted. I didn’t run. I walked. In fact, for a moment I just stood there. What are you doing? Why aren’t you running? Come on! Run! The voices sounded astound. People were in disbelief. Why isn’t he running?

I looked around me. I saw the faces of people. Some shouted. Some cheered. Some looked enthused. Some looked blank. Some seemed to be excited for the event. Some were just standing in the crowd. The time seemed to be at a still, with every second running as if it was an hour. I was walking. I was walking and felt faster than the runners. I could see them passing me. Slowly.

I didn’t know where I was walking to and wondered why everyone was trying so hard. The only way is to move forward, I thought, but where does this lead?

Sweat was dropping from people’s body. Tears were falling out of people’s eyes. I could hear the footsteps hitting the tracks and see the debris coming off of people’s shoes. They were running as hard as they can and breathing as if it was their last breath on earth. Their hearts were pounding like drums as if they were right next to me. Their movement followed the beats. I was off beat.

What am I doing here? How did I get here? Why did I do this? I looked at my coach. He looked angry. He was shouting something as the saliva spouted out of his mouth. I glanced up and saw my parents. They were disappointed. I can hear their frowns asking why. My friends didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know either.

It was only 400 meters. I did it before. I‘ve seen it before. But I couldn’t see it at that moment. It was an intense training. You got talent. You can do this. People told me. You are fast, pretty darn fast. Coach told me. It’s good for you. My parents told me. So I ran, and I ran. But I didn’t know where I was running to.

Everyone was nice. They were nice people. They helped me through my training, invited me to parties and events, and asked me how I am when I was down. They treated me more than just someone on their team. They viewed me as their friend.

The excitement filled everyone as the runners entered the stadium. I could sense the anticipation from the crowd as they were expecting something grand. It was my debut. The gun was cocked. On your mark, get set… The gun fired and I ran. I ran like everyone else did. Then I stopped.

I walked. A gust of wind suddenly burst in my face. It felt refreshing. Time gradually picked up. Everything was back to speed. I heard cheers. Someone crossed the finished line. Then another, and another. I was happy for them. Some were still struggling to reach the end. Some were in pain. My friends were still in disbelief. My coach was still angry. My parents were still disappointed. I was happy.

I walked off the track, away from the stadium, away from the people. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let you down, but I didn’t want to let myself down.